Bap the unfamiliar penises with a rolled-up newspaper

Lexi asks

My boyfriend just left for work and won’t be back for a few weeks. I’m super sad about it. I don’t enjoy being all alone in the house. Advice on how to feel better? 😅

My answer

Why not do what I do? Hijack your nearest Viagra factory, then spike your beau’s morning coffee with its output for the next entire year. Time it right and it’ll kick in when he’s made it to the next continent. With luck he’ll get an erection ten thousand miles long, soaring across the world like the St. Louis Gateway Arch and into your bedroom window. Now pleasure yourself to your heart’s content.

A glance outside my own bedroom window reminds me that penisey shenanigans of this sort are all too common: you may need a bit of trial and error before you’ll know which cock is his. When in doubt, bap the unfamiliar penises with a rolled-up newspaper like they’re pooch-snoots. Works a treat.

Source: https://www.facebook.com/groups/393804108644865/po...